Please do Disturb

On Christmas Day, I was lucky enough to go to Mass and ear the Priest Filipe Martins S. J. On his lecture he spoke about the sign that we put in hotel doors saying Please do not disturb and somehow he compared it with our life: is that the way we want to go through life? Undisturbed by others?
Since then his words have been in my head! Because it is hard to decide if you do want or not people to disturb you. And even when you do want to, how much do you really want to be disturbed? Because in a way, allowing others to disturb you is giving them time, is granting them the space and the right to come into your lives and shake them, turn them around, a little or a lot!
So when is it time to rest? When do you turn the sign round and say, do not disturb? When do you grant yourself the time to rest, to just do what you want to do? When do you listen to your heart, to your inner voice?
But then again, how do you know when and where it is time to rest and time to act? How do you measure your efforts, how much do you push yourself, how many times do you turn that sign from one side to the other?
I consider myself a Please do Disturb person. And that is what my heart tells me. Yes I may feel tired, yes there was really no need for this or that detail, yes almost no one really cares about the bows or small cards but in the end I have never ever liked an unfinished job, a missed detail, a cup half full.
I may sleep less hours and no I am not a general about organization but I have learnt a valuable lesson: listen to my heart and let it guide me to where I want to be and what I want to do (thank you Padre Vasco Magalhães S.J. for the amazing book you have written! I recommend it to everyone! (Só Avança quem Descansa)).
I had made a strict plan for Christmas this year: I would make most of my presents to give. I would sew, scrapbook and book bind as much as I could so that everyone or at least, a lot of people would have something handmade by me.
All and all I book binded more than 15 photo albums, made 10 gift baskets, 8 or 10 Christmas bags and other bits and pieces. I fulfilled some promises I had made which made me really proud of myself!

For a lovely one year old Maria

For a Broter and Sister, to remind them of how good life can be

Filled with treats they even looked better!

 A Sewing box for a no longer small girl! 

A promise long made to my brother! It is now ready and delivered and I rea,lly love the way it turned out! I hope it is as lovelly as the girl it speaks about!

For someone who cared!

For a great Sew master so he can register his works!

 This one I made for my Parents, so they can put the photos of the Famiuy Christmas day, the lunch on the 25th. As much as I love digital, I still feel the need to print some photos and for that you still need a photo album!

These 11 albums are actually a set of 12, my Wonder woman and crazy task for this Christmas! But I made it and gave them all to whom they were made for. They shall register the moments that has a family, me and my cousins spend together to honour the great life of our grandmother, known to all as Granny!
So you see, life is so much more interesting when you do let yourself be disturbed! What would I have done with my time if my sign was turned to the do not disturbed way?
I really believe that our actions define who we are, that we receive in double what we give with generosity and that it is not by closing our doors that we will live happier.
If I can ask for two things for 2013 is health for all of mine and a heart open enough to always be willing to be disturbed!
For now it is time to say goodbye to this year and as Mother of a large family.....start dinner!

Simple Things

When it was announced that Molllie Makes, an English Magazine I have subscribed a long ago (and am only now missing number one!) was going to have a younger sister called The Simple Things, I subscribed on the spot. I waited a few months for the first issue to arrive on my mail box and now, twice a month, I enjoy these two treasures!

I really like this magazine because I love what it brings up in me: my simple things. And often these take me back down memory lane and sometimes they make me sing the famous song from The Sound of Music, "My favorite things". I know the lyrics by heart: "raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens..." and some of "Maria's" favorite things are my Simple Things. I love the sound of rain on my window just when it starts falling, the smell of wet grass, the smell of baked cookies and chocolate cake. Oh and homemade bread too. I like brown paper packages tied up with spring, I really like thick hot chocolate and red tea.
I fiund my shelter when I go to bed at night and rest my head in my husband's shoulder or when my daughter wakes up in the morning and calls Mummy. I love the way my youngest son smiles when we decide to do something just the two of us. I adore the kisses and hugs the two older ones still concede me from time to time. I love watching a storm over a valley and climb a green mountain in spring. I like to wake up in the morning and know that I am loved and that I have so many to love! That is my simplest and yet my grandest of things! And isn't it just simple and grand at the same time?

So when a few weeks back my parents brought me this magazine saying: "we saw this in London and thought it was so you" I just could not resist and say "I know, I have them all". But the funny part of this story is that in the middle of the simple things mentioned in this issue there was one that brought back memories to my father.

Being the son of an English woman and we as her descendants, cookies are a big thing in our family! So somehow these cookies reminded him of his childhood. These lavender and lemon cookies were, it seems, one of his simple things.
I always bake on Christmas eve or the day before with my children so they learn that they can also give something to others although they are still small to purchase: a proof of their love for others and a way for them to thank the gifts they receive.
So this year, these cookies were our simple baked gift. Mind you they were not easy to bake, until you got the hang of the right thickness and oven time, but still we made close to 200 cookies this year.

I am not sure they taste great and I am not even certain I will ever make them again but the moment I knew this was one of my Father's simple things I knew I had to make them for him. You see the thing is that whith a Father it is always hard to tell what he really likes because being the parent of girls (and boys) he always aims to please us so even if dinner is the one thing he loads, he will still tell you it was delicious.

My Father is the most generous person I know, the most humble, the one that suffers in silence and loves with actions more than words. He dedicates himself to his job with a passion and righteousness that is truly uncommon. He rarely complains and yes he for sure has his faults, but for us, he is an example. Funny that in many ways I see his reflection in one of my brothers....and in myself. I have never heard him brag about his achievements, never heard him speak about the good deeds he makes but yet his generosity his uncounted for! He even has an homeless man that we call his friend (too long a story to explain)!

This Christmas we exchanged gifts, some bought, some homemade, some simple some not so, but in every single one there was the recognition of love between a family that has known hardship, pain and suffering, joy, triumph and success but that at the end of the day can still sit on the floor and carefully listen and wait the simple happening of Christmas inside each one of us. And that is my simple thing too and I wait a whole year for it.

Do you know what else is my Simple Thing? My Family. A complex group of 16 people is my Simple thing. Ok, ok, my Favorite thing!

Just because it was Christmas after all I decorated these boxes and bags where we placed the cookies. They were all decortaed my me and in total we gave 19 simple baked gifts this Christmas.

I always find it amazing how a smell, an image, a feeling, a friend, an image on TV can trigger a memory. I do hope that the smell and taste of these cookies provided that trip down memory lane for my Father. If not I will keep trying until I make them just the way you love, Father! And that is a promise (and I never fail a promise).

When I was smaller we always watched "The Sound of Music" on Christmas Day at my Grandmother's house. It is a tradition I am sad to have lost! It was such a simple thing! And one of my favorite things too! And if you do not know Maria's song then you really most listen carefully and then search within yourself for your favorite and simple things. I have found mine, hope you find yours too!!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Time

It's funny how we, and when I say we I am including myself in the bulls eye let's say, go through life saying "I don't have time for this, I don't have time for that", etc, etc and so on.
But in fact, if we really think about it for a while we will find out that if there is one thing that we have here on earth with every second that goes by and we are alive, is time.
Each tick of the clock represents a moment of time, our time, time that is at our disposal.
What we decide to do it, what we prioritize into it, what we end up doing with it, it's what grants us or not the sense of possession and control over time.
And what to do with our time begins as soon as we are little and have to decide between homework or cartoons, between writing a report or doing a card for Grandma. And as we grow by the decisions of what to use the time for become more diverse and complicated: do I prepare my class or go to the doctor, do I answer emails or develop a new design, do I dedicate it all to others or do I save some for myself.
And for me, we become "of age", not when we turn 18, but when we realize that life is all about balancing time and choosing what to do with it!
Because yes, we do have a choice. And that is for me the hardest, most difficult lesson to learn. To be honest if I had to grade myself on it I would give me a C- (3-).
So although the clock doesn't stop moving sometimes we do need to stop, to calibrate our needles, recharge the batteries, set our priorities straight, learn to say no, which is the same thing to say: choose what to do with the time that we have.
And that is a good thing! If we could take, even if only an inner trip to a Spa every month and just use three hours of our time to calibrate "our clock" we would not only be more happy but we would be more efficient. So everyone, when is your three hours of this month going to happen? Or have you already taken them? Well, I have and decided that three just wasn't even so I am taking an extra hour or two each day until I feel that I have reached my balance again. Selfish? Maybe, but from it I am certain I willcome out not only more efficient but also more happy. And that is one thing that I won't trade time for!
This Christmas for me has definitely been challenging, time wise. But in a way it has made me realize what in fact is valuable and important in my life and most of all what I want to do it.
So the issue is what to do next, what steps to make, because after you have calibrated your clock and reset the batteries to make it a good instrument of time, you need to the the other part: use it! Use your time wisely!
To visit a friend, to send a postcard, to sew a special bag for someone you love, to bake a cake for a friend, to go and have a cup of cocoa with your children, to take them out to see Christmas lights, bake cookies.....I don't know, so many things!
I have done well with my time this season I believe. I am living it with an intensity I had forgotten it was still possible and although I do not consider myself a decorator I am proud of what I have achieved at home. I have divided the spaces into more and less children wise so that way we are all happy! And it didn't come out so bad!

The Best Friends dinner is always a special day because Friendship is always worth celebrating. I love to set elaborate tables, filled with details. And these friends are worth every single bow, bird, wreath and all the time we have put into this day and all the days that lead to this one. Because investing and building a friendship is also something very time worthy. And that I know for sure!

The ants seem to love the sweets as much as my children do so we are having a very hard battle between them and me! And the bad news is, so far, they are winning!

So you see, you can turn your time into so many things! Just use it to be happy and make others happy. That way, when he seems scarce, you won't for sure regret all the time you didn't use it well for!
And because time spent dedicated to Family and Friends is the best time of all, here is one song about friendship I really love!

I know the song by heart but listen to the chorus of it......my best friends are certainly like that! And I am ever so thankful for having made time for this to happen.
To my other friends, some on the other side of the world, I hope you are having a good time this season and let you know that you are in my mind this Holiday!
Because you know, time in the end, is the best investment you can make in whatever it is you want to see succeeding!

Sentences to live by

" Nao é o quanto fazemos, mas quanto amor colocamos no que fazemos"
Madre Teresa de Calcutá

"It is not how much we do but it is the love we put into doing them"
Mother Teresa of Calcuta

Must admit I borrowed this sentence from my "older sister" Filipa's facebook wall. I saw it a few days ago and it has been stuck in my head since then. Because this could be so much truer in our lives!
We are working mothers and wives, develop roles in local communities, are pillars of our family, are good or bad friends to this or that person but at the end of the day how much love do we put into each one of these things? How much is just simple duty and how much is love and dedication?
I am making a big poster of this sentence and hang it in my office wall! (Promise to show photo when ready!!!!)
Today I really wanted to be somewhere else but life dictated it otherwise. In the meantime my "big sister" has been doing hers and my part in the preparation of a surprise to another family member, since I cannot be there. At the end of the day you can ask if she did enough, you can question her style, her choices, every single detail of the preparation she has done but you cannot question that it was done with the most generous love possible on earth! And I will vow for that! And that is how we should all do it!
Because I couldn't do much she took over the action and I believe the result is a true demonstration of gratitude and a celebration of life. Because today we are celebrating a very special birthday: of the one I call my clone! After all we have the exact same name but I just happened to have it first although in trueness she is older than me. Very complicated!
But the life of my clone is also driven by Mother Teresa's sentence. And from my corner to her heart here goes a very special kiss and hug and all the tears that I know the three of us would end up sharing today. Tears of joy of course. But tears of Love as well. I hope you love everythiing because it was made from the heart!
In the last couple of weeks my definition of time has changed so drastically that I sometimes need to remind myself that clock's still exist. And this sentence filled my heart with an infinite joy! Because right now in my time I do so much less than before but I do it with so much love that the gratification I get for doing it really compensates anything else.
So if you are still buying or making Christmas presents remember it is not the how much that matters. If you are honoring someone's life, it probably isn't the big present she will most love, but the drawing made by her 5 year old son saying I love you Mum.
Today I mailed my Christmas cards, as I do every year. As every year I made them myself, some more simple, others more intricate. Each one was written and addressed by hand (in my awful handwriting). But again, it isn't the how much, is it? 
And what about you, have you stopped to wish Merry Christmas to anyone? To write to an old friend? Have you dedicated your days thinking what would be significant for the ones you love? Have you loved each moment passed preparing it, adding the bows and the details?
Well, I have and I must admit, it has filled me with a warmth I hadn't felt for a very long time!
So, dear "big sister" and dear clone, please have a marvellous party today, remember Mother Teresa's sentence every morning and don't forget to take lot's of photos so I can see everything!
A big hug,

Patrícia

Mother's Day

A long time ago, I believe so long ago that I wasn't even born, Mother's Day, in Portugal, was celebrated on the 8th of December, the day consecrated to the Holly Mother.
I have no idea why this changed but the fact is that now we celebrate it on the first Sunday of May, which for me means that it is never my day as a Mother. And I don't mean this with a grudge but it is never my day because as daughter-in-law and grandaughter all those other me's come first in the celebration of this day. It is normally a stressful day of juggling lunches, teas and dinners, of making the will of so many others but never myself.
My Mother shares this same feeling so this year she decided to go back to the old days, meaning, that for her Mother's Day is on the 8th of December. And I decided to do the same.
I don't care if we are normally working on that day (that means at least we are together), I don't mind the fact that after work we go to mass, I don't mind the tiredness in the evening... but at least I don't have to juggle! It's my Day as daughter and Mother and that is more than enough!
I wanted to have written this yesterday, the day itself but time just isn't working as I plan most of the times now. Because this is a tribute to my Mother, on her day! For being the amazing woman she is, for all the times she held my hand in silence, for all the times we did not agree, for the example she has set of what family is, for the devotion and care, for being there even when I didn't want her to.
So on this non-comercial Mother's Day, a day without cards, flowers or presents, a day without feasts or dinners a day just to love and be loved, it is my time to say Thank you, to say I Love you, to say what no word could ever say but that I know she will understand.
Some years ago I made a scrapbook layout, that hangs in my walls, where there is a sentence that until this day I remember: "a family is a patchwork of love". I placed that phrase on the layout but that same bit of paper goes to me everywhere in my purse.
And being a mother is a little bit like that: is needing the ability to sometimes mend the broken pieces of each child, to combine their different personalities, to love each individual with it's own characteristics, it's knowing where to start and where to finish. It is an endless task, an endless journey of joy and pain but I am  sure that for you, as well as for me, being a Mother is the best thing I have done in my life.
I searched for a song that would be a tribute to Mothers but most were all to sad or smoshy so I decided to bring you this one. More than a song it is a prayer. More than a prayer it is a note. More than a note is a tribute. More than anything, today, Mother, I wished I could sing and dance like that for you.
Happy Mother's Day!

Ternura * Tenderness

Todos os domingos vamos à missa da comunidade Jesuíta no Porto que agora tem a sua celebração na Igreja de Cedofeita. Aí, tal como já acontecia nas Instalações do CREU, todos os domingos e alternadamente, um casal faz baby-sitting das crianças cujos Pais assim o desejarem até ao ofertório. Orgulho-me de fazer parte desse grupo de casais e aguardo a chegada de dia 23 de Dezembro pela minha próxima vez.
Podem talvez pensar que não é nada de especial mas de facto e por experiência própria sei quão bem aqueles 30 minutos de introspecção e silêncio fazem bem aos Pais muitas vezes sem tempo nenhum para si. É assim que encaro este serviço que prestamos: a oferta de uns minutos de Paz e silêncio com Deus na sua casa.
Mas o que não deixa de me trazer lágrimas aos olhos (eu sou muito piegas), domingo após domingo, é a ternura dos olhos de cada Pai que vê o seu filho percorrer o corredor central até ao altar para entregar o seu desenho ou projecto realizado ao celebrante. Não deixo de me emocionar com as mães ajoelhadas e de braços estendidos à espera dos seus pequeninos. São momentos inigualáveis de ternura. E é tão bom poder testemunhar esses momentos.
Tal como quando vamos à escola buscar as crianças e nos baixamos para receber aquele abraço forte com que quase sempre nos recebem!
Ainda hoje, ao ver qualquer filme, me emociono com estas demonstrações de ternura entre pais e filhos. E falando já com a experiência de quem tem um filho de 16 anos e apesar de parecer que estes momentos se desvanecem com os anos, a verdade é que ainda hoje consigo, nem que seja em pequenos segundos, ter estes momentos de ternura com os mais velhos cá de casa.
Porque no fim de contas ser Mãe é isso mesmo: viver para aqueles segundos de ternura em que não existe mais nada no mundo senão eu e ele! No meu caso multiplicado por quatro sabe mesmo bem!

Every Sunday we go to mass at the Jesuit community in Porto, that now has it's celebration at another parish. There, as it happened on the space we were before, every Sunday and taking turns, a couple babysits the children of the parents who wish so, until after the lectures. I am proud to make part of this group of couples and I wait for my next turn on the 23rd of December!
You may think this is nothing much but in fact and speaking by self-experience, those 30 minutes of introspection and silence are a true blessing for many adults who in general don't have a minute ever for themselves. This is how I face this service we give: the offer of some minutes of Peace and Silence with God in His house.
But what doesn't seize to bring tears to my eyes ( I am a crying baby), Sunday after Sunday, is the tenderness in the parents eyes when they see their child or children walking along the main aisle to the altar to give their drawing or project to the priest. I get overwhelmed by the kneeling mothers with stretched arms waiting for their child to come to them. These are true moments of tenderness. And it is so good to be able to witness these moments.
Just like when we go to school to pick them up and we bend over for that big hug they give us almost every single time!
Even today I normally weep when I see a movie where these demonstrations between parents and children are shown. And even from my experience as a mother of a 16 year old and in spite the fact that these moments do fade with time, the truth is that even today, even if only for brief seconds, I can still get some of these tender moments with the older boys around the house.
Because after all being a Mother is exactly that: live for those seconds of tenderness where nothing else in the world exists except me and my child! And in my case multiplied by four it feels really good!

Curve ball

(sorry but just English again today)
I am not a fan of Baseball and in good honesty know nothing about it besides what one sees in the movies. There is one movie in particular that I think it is called the Perfect Game that I have seen several times.
So from my non knowledgeable point of view, a curve ball is a ball thrown in a specific way to make it look like it is going one way but it is actually going another. It is a fast ball that is basically thrown to deceive it's catcher. If he is good, lucky or trained he will catch the ball.
So lately I have been thinking that some moments in life can be compared to a curve ball. Sometimes there is this "ball" that is thrown at you when you least expect it. It is then your chance to do something about it: you can 1, ignore it and pretend it is not coming, 2, face it and try to catch it so you can then get back into the game and have a chance to win or 3, you can miss the catch and see what happens.
Basically with the ball, as well as in life, you can do 3 things: pretend it is not happening, face it so you might have a chance of reversing the situation or give up and just let things happen.
I have a strong believe that these situations happen often in life. Sometimes you instantly recognize them and sometimes you don't.
When a curve ball is thrown at you something also happens: you can instantly see, even without looking, who your team players are. And it is at that moment, at that precise second when you look around and feel the warmth of your team players that you know. You know that you are loved, you know that you are cared for, you know that some asked God for his help. You just know the ones thar are yours
So when a curve ball comes into your life, it is not what the fact that it is coming that counts, it is what you decide to do with it that matters.
There are many sayings in life that could for sure resume my dissertation. But I like my curve ball analogy better.
Why? Well, because it gives you choices, it makes you suffer, it teaches you to reach for others, to have the humbleness to recognize your humanity, because it shows you how much you are loved.
More less a year ago my little sister got married. When we produced the film for her wedding, the music below was one that I chose to be in it. It's not very known but it is for me an Ode to Love.
This time I dedicate it to my team players! Thank you!

Tradições * Traditions

Todas as famílias têm as suas tradições, passadas através dos tempos de Pai para filho, de Bisavô para Avô e por aí fora.
Mas parece que, neste mundo atarefado em que vivemos, mais tradições são perdidas, menos histórias são contadas à volta de uma lareira, menos reuniões de família acontecem. E agora que o Natal está quase à porta, esta perda de tradições é mais visível de dia para dia. Parece que de dia para dia fazemos menos esforços.
Mas eu sou uma fervorosa crente em tradições: aquelas que nos foram transmitidas através dos anos mas também daquelas que "damos à luz". Sim, porque também nós podemos começar alguma coisa: primeiro uma pequena semente que acontece uma vez, explicada com amor e carinho e depois com o passar dos anos e a sua repetição e, com alguma sorte, podemos transformar um acto isolado numa tradição.
Não sei exactamente quando surgiu esta minha ideia, nem quando a comecei mas tenho a certeza que 4 crianças (bem 3 já não são crianças) esperam por ela todos os anos. Por isso a dado ponto no passado eu decidi oferecer aos meus Afilhados um Calendário do Advento feito por mim. Alguns anos mais simples, outros mais complexos, sempre com guloseimas e chocolates. Não tenho bem a certeza quantos já fiz até agora e não tenho fotografias da maior parte deles. Mas estou muito orgulhosa desta tradição que criei e que continuarei a fazer enquanto andar por aqui e eles deixem de ser crianças. Afinal de contas, não é esta uma coisa maravilhosa para ser recordada de fazer?
Estou ansiosa por este Natal. Pelas tradições que temos à anos mas também por aquelas que ainda são uma pequena semente. Tradições que nos confortam, que nos dão segurança que afinal o mundo ainda pode ser bom, mas para mim e especialmente no Natal, a Família é mesmo a minha tradição favorita que jamais deixarei de passar de geração em geração!

Every family has it's own traditions, convied thru time from parent to child, from great grandfather to grandfather and so on. 
Each year, in this busy world we live in, more traditions are lost, less stories are told, less family gatherings happen. Now that Christmas is almost around the door, the loss of traditions is more visible every day. It looks like every year we make less of an effort. 
But I am a firm believer of traditions: the ones that have been passed on to you but also the ones you give birth to. Yes because we can also start something, first a small seed that happens one time, explained with love and care can be transformed into a tradition that maybe with a little luck can survive time and time again.
I don't exactly know how this idea of mine started but I know it has become a tradition that four children (well three are no longer children) look forward for it every year. So at some point in the past I decided to give my four Godchildren a Calendar Advent made by myself. Some years simpler, others more complex, always with candies and chocolates. I am not sure how many different ones I have done so far and I don't have photos of most of them. But I am really proud of this tradition that I will keep on doing until I am gone and they, of course, are no longer children. After all, isn't that something you would love to be remembered by?
I look forward for this Christmas. For the traditions that we have had for years but also for the ones that are still a small but growing seed. Traditions that will comfort us and give us insurance that the world can still be a good place but for me and most of all that Family is my favorite tradition that I will keep on passing from generation to generation!

Calendário do advento de 2012! * 2012 Advent calendar!